Miracle Boys

New Blog

2007-10-14T10:32:00.003-04:00

Alex and Spencer are two and a half years old now. I've been thinking for a long time about what to do with this blog. It has always been a blog about them, about their prematurity, their struggles, and their triumphs. I am ready for a blog about US: what they're up to, my thoughts and feelings about a variety of things, and about us as a family. So, I think it's time for a new blog: http://simpletinymatters.blogspot.com/

Moon & ABC's

2007-08-31T20:59:00.001-04:00

Spencer's newest love is the moon. He's enjoyed looking for it in books for some time now. Just the other day as we were driving at dusk he noticed it in the sky for the first time. He was so excited. As the sky grew darker and the moon grew brighter his excitement grew as well. He kept saying "moon" and "hi" as if were his friend.

Last night we drove through a wretched thunder storm on the way home. The sky was thick with dark clouds. Spencer couldn't find his friend anywhere. He was so upset; he was shouting for the moon and calling "hi, hi," trying to coax his friend out of its hiding place. This evening, which was considerably more pleasant, we went out for a walk and I told Spencer we would look for the moon. "My moon," he said.

Alex began saying the entire alphabet about two weeks ago. Soon after, he started counting from one to ten. He utters both sequences repeatedly. I was excited but a little concerned, being that the developmental pediatrician is watching him for PDD-NOS. Last week he was playing with a television remote and was saying "one, two, one, two" and pressing the corresponding buttons. His speech pathologist was there at the time, working with Spencer. "Oh my God!" I said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing!" I brought Alex to the table and began writing random letters and numbers for him. He actually identified them! I was so shocked. The speech pathologist says that he may be hyperlexic.

Splish Splash

2007-07-01T21:03:00.001-04:00

Alex and Spencer are enjoying a toddler pool handed down to them by their cousins. Our next-door neighbor let us put it on her deck. Thanks, Caroline!

Haircuts

2007-07-01T20:53:00.003-04:00

The boys got their first official "big boy" haircuts a couple weeks ago. I decided I was tired of long, thick, HOT hair and got mine chopped, too. Freedom!

Walking

2007-06-05T20:29:00.000-04:00

The boys and I went on a long walk tonight. That is to say, I walked and pushed about 80 pounds of kids and stroller around town. We walked past a lot of old houses and one in particular caught my eye. I was standing on the side of the road admiring it when I suddenly realized where we were: right around the corner from our house. I drive by that old brick house all the time and I've never noticed it before. You see so much more when you walk. This is why I would rather hike than ride a mountain bike or an ATV, a topic about which I've had many conversations in the past.

We got caught in a rain shower when we were down by the river, about a ten minute walk from our house. I got soaked. The boys got rained on from the knees down. It was fun! The boys seemed so happy and relaxed by the time we got home. There's nothing like being outdoors to sooth one's spirit.

Okay, So It Isn't True

2007-06-04T20:38:00.000-04:00

Yet. She's not moving yet. Kathy didn't get the job and I'm so sad for her. Really, I am. It's just postponing the pain for me anyway, but at least I get to keep her close for a little longer.

Please Say It Isn't True

2007-05-27T12:19:00.000-04:00

My best friend is moving. To Michigan. To be near her family. It's always been her intention, and I knew that, but now she actually has a job offer and it's really coming true.

I've only known Kathy for a little over three years. When I interviewed for my last job I wasn't sure I wanted it. When I went back for my second interview I met with Kathy and I thought "I really want to work here!" It was one of those instant friendships...kindred spirits. She is such an incredible person: intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, and a little crazy. We're so much alike. She's never been afraid to tell me how it is and she's almost always right (much to my chagrin). She is like a sister to me.

Kathy is Alex's godmother, and her husband, Kevin, is his godfather. They have two beautiful little girls whom I adore. I am so going to miss watching their girls and my boys play together. I'm going to miss spending the afternoon at their house. I'll miss Big Lots and Marshall's trips with Kathy. I'll miss Indian food and Jack's in the summertime with her. I'm sure we'll stay close, by phone and Internet, and the boys and I will visit, but it won't be the same. Kathy and Kevin have been here for me through everything I went through, the pregnancy, the boys' early birth, my father's death, my pneumonia this spring. They have been a tremendous source of support. I don't know how I'll replace them.

I'm happy for Kathy. I really am. I know she's going to be much happier being close to her family. There's nothing quite like being home. I love you, Kathy. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

Two Times Four

2007-05-22T22:40:00.000-04:00

On Sunday I finally got to meet Jennifer. Her boys are 10 days older than Alex and Spencer. We met through a twins listserv back when our guys were itty bitty, then discovered that we're both bloggers. We live about two hours away from each other, so we met in between for some shopping and fun. It was so good to finally meet her and her family. I think she and I kindred spirits. I love reading her blog; she's an amazing writer with a great wit. Check it out!

(I'll add pictures later. For some reason I'm having trouble uploading them tonight. Sigh...)

The Long Lost Blogger

2007-05-21T09:12:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in a looooooong time. I'm just going to pick up here and try to fill in some of the blanks later. It's been a tough spring. Health issues have taken their toll on my body and my life. Things are changing, getting better, but it's slow and I'm the kind of person who wants change to happen overnight.

On the other hand, it seems like the boys change every day. That's the upside of the so-called "terrible twos." The downside is the whining, crying, and temper tantrums; the climbing and falling and bleeding and sobbing and getting back up and doing it all over again; the gobbling down of a favorite food one day followed by throwing it all over the kitchen floor the next. Oh yes, it's all part of the learning process, I know. I love that they are becoming more themselves every day, but the process requires a whole lot of patience!

Alex finally started really walking a few weeks ago. He went from only taking a few steps with a lot of encouragement, to almost running on hardwood flooring in socks within a matter of weeks. That's Alex: he takes his time in doing something, studies every detail, makes sure he knows exactly what the situation is, and then proceeds.

Spencer, on the other hand, charges into things full steam ahead. Right now the boy has scabs on his nose, forehead, and scalp. There's nothing he doesn't try to climb. And no matter how many times he falls he just keeps going back. He's fearless, which is great for him, but challenging for me.

Spencer said his first real two-word phrase today. Our next-door neighbor (the boys' sitter) has a dog named Monster (a little Jack Russell). Spencer recently started going to the window and calling Monster's name. This morning I said to him "Did you see Monster? Is he out?" and he said "Monster out."

Alex has been getting speech therapy for about three months and seems to have at least one new word every week. Speech therapy seems to have done him a lot of good with his play and social skills, too. He had a cognitive evaluation last week. The psychologist recommended increasing his speech therapy to twice a week and adding a social worker for play therapy and a teacher once a week.

We have our IFSP meeting next Wednesday. I think both boys will be continuing OT and PT once a week. Their PT said their gross motor skills are at about 15 months. I can't believe that micro-preemies are expected to catch up by the time they're two years old. Practitioners are supposed to stop correcting preemies' ages at two, but it just doesn't make sense for babies who were born as early as Alex and Spence. It doesn't really matter, though, as long as they are getting the services they need. They are learning and developing rapidly, and I have no doubt that they will be fine.

Alex's and Spencer's Second Birthday

2007-04-22T14:10:00.000-04:00

Tears of Joy

2007-03-30T11:58:00.000-04:00

Alex just did a 180 degree turn - three times. I had him standing up facing me and he turned around to grab onto furniture for support. He's so hesitant to stand and walk on his own, but he just did three 180 degree turns! He also said "I love you" to me twice today. I've heard it before and thought I was imagining it, but I was wrong. He says it when he's hugging me. It sounds like "Ah yah you." He's going to put his speech and physical therapists out of their jobs.

I started crying. I'm a little overwhelmed with emotion, tomorrow being their second birthday. Alex heard me and started chiming in. I said "Alex, it's okay, Mommy's happy. It's a happy cry." My little sensitive guy. Spencer just laughs when I cry. God, I love them!

Birthday Wish List

2007-03-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

I've started a birthday wish list for Alex and Spencer on Amazon.com. This is just meant to be an idea list. The products certainly don't have to be purchased through Amazon! I just thought people might want ideas about what to get. I'm sure I'll be adding to it as I think of things. Their birthday is four weeks from tomorrow. I can't believe it! Invitations will be in the mail shortly. Click the button below to link to the list.

Shoes

2007-02-13T10:06:00.003-05:00

Spencer in his first pair of "real" shoes. Take that, Monkey Toes! (I'm sure he'll find other ways to go where he wants to.)

Trouble

2007-02-08T19:42:00.003-05:00

Alex decided the little red table would be great for climbing, and his brother quickly joined in. Spencer's monkey toes can climb on the tiniest strip of wood. Maybe it's time for hard soled shoes. ***, am I in trouble!

Monkey

2007-02-06T08:30:00.002-05:00

I was sitting here at my computer drinking my coffee and checking my email. I heard Spencer let out a cry and turned around to see what was the matter. This is what I found.

An American Life

2007-02-01T10:11:00.002-05:00

Ummm...I can't say this is what I pictured for my boys. But, really, they don't watch much television. Here they are, watching "Sesame Street" in their pajamas, eating Kashi Heart to Heart. Please, no comments on what a lazy mom I am sometimes!

Alex is Learning to Walk

2007-01-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

These are from two separate falls. I'm not beating him, I swear!

"Purple is a good color on me, don't you think?"

Coffee table bruise and scratch from glasses (which broke in the fall)

2007-01-26T12:25:00.000-05:00

The sweetest thing just happened. The boys were sitting on the living room floor watching "Baby Beethoven" and Spencer was babbling on and on about something as he often does. Suddenly he started singing "Al-LEE, Al-LEE, Al-LEE." So special!

Bear Steps

2007-01-18T21:04:00.000-05:00

Tonight Ally Bear took his first steps! He went from one step, to two, to three, to nearly four all in the space of about five minutes. Alex takes his time getting to milestones (he's very cautious), but when he decides he's ready to do something he does it all the way!

Uh Oh

2007-01-16T16:10:00.000-05:00

Until recently I allowed Alex and Spencer to watch television very rarely, and usually no more than 30 minutes at a time. Recent studies suggest that television affects babies' and toddlers' brain development negatively. Lately, however, since they're almost two years old, I have been letting them watch about an hour a day, usually a Baby Einstein video or part of "Sesame Street" in the morning, and their "Goodnight Moon" video before bed. The boys got up from their nap a little while ago. Spencer just pointed at the television (which was off, as usual) and then sat down on the floor in front of it. He was very clear about what he wanted...now we're watching Baby Einstein's "Meet the Orchestra." Ugh! Don't you turn into a couch potato, Spencer!

Laundry

2007-01-05T13:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, so....as the sizes of the clothes increase the amount of laundry increases. I'm still wanting to do laundry just a couple times a week. It's piling up so quickly. I have to adjust my thinking!

Spencer Sprout

2007-01-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

In my last post I said I thought Spencer had grown. Well, three weeks ago at the doctor's office (for a sinus infection) I asked the pediatrician to weigh and measure him. He hadn't gained much, but he had grown four inches in two months!

20 Months

2006-12-01T10:09:00.000-05:00

Alex and Spencer are 20 months old. Wow! Time goes by so quickly...too quickly. It doesn't seem like that long ago that they were those fragile, barely viable, tiny little babies in the NICU. You would never know it to look at them now. Most people would have looked at their little bodies, with their see-through skin, all the tubes and wires attached to them, and thought "There's barely a chance they'll make it, and if they do they'll have so many problems," but we were fortunate. Fortunate to be surrounded by people who believed in miracles, that with enough love, positive energy, and prayers anything is possible. My boys are so healthy! As I write this Spencer is standing behind me, not holding on to anything for support, and clapping his hands. Alex is cruising around the living room carefully inspecting everything, as he always does. Two colds so far this year and no panicked visits to the doctor's office, no getting up in the middle of the night to give breathing treatments. Their health is better than I could ever have hoped for, and I am incredibly thankful.

Spencer seems to have sprouted recently. Maybe it's because he's walking tall, taking up to eight or nine steps at a time; it looks like he's as long as Alex now. At last weigh-in two months ago Spencer was a little over 20 pounds, and Alex was almost 24 pounds. Who knows how much weight I'm carting up and down the stairs now. Spencer still has just six teeth, but is working on more. Alex has a mouthful. 10 at last count, with four more pushing their way through right now. They rarely seem bothered by teething, or much of anything really; they are such happy, good boys.

Alex repeats words from time to time but mostly babbles. He loves to sing to himself when he's happy, "la, la, la" and when he's upset he'll request to be sung to in the same manner. He even sings to his brother when Spencer is upset. It's the sweetest thing. Spencer's most frequently used words are "yogurt" and "Ally." The both say "I did it" and of course "mama." The boys babble to each other in their own little language and amazingly seem to understand one another.

Alex's favorite toy is the bead maze. He loves to move the beads up and down and can entertain himself for a long time that way. Spencer likes to climb onto his rocking horse and bounce, one knee under him and the other leg over the side. He also "talks" on the play phone, putting up to his ear and saying "hello." They're both easy to entertain and keep themselves and each other occupied much of the time. Alex is playing the toy piano now (while wearing his "rock star" shirt...Mommy doesn't have any aspirations for him musically, does she?). They both love the piano, and often play duets.

Favorite foods
Spencer: Yogurt, bananas, Annie's Mac & Cheese
Alex: Eggplant parm, chicken
Both: Applesauce, Goldfish, Fig Newmans, Kashi Heart to Heart, and Veggie Booty

Favorite activities
Trying to get into anything that is obviously off limits or out of reach
Playing with their cousins
Dumping toys all over the floor for Mommy to pick up
Climbing on top of each other

Things we're working on
Feeding themselves with a spoon
Walking
Drawing with a crayon
Learning body parts (they know mouth, nose, hand, foot, and belly) and how to treat others gently (the biting has significantly lessened)

Favorite toys
Anything with buttons and lights
Bead maze
Musical instruments
Little People castle
(okay, I admit, I have influenced them in the direction of the last two just a little)

Woo hoo!!!

2006-11-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

Alex just made it through the firehouse siren going off without crying for the first time!

Mommy Doesn't Live Here Anymore

2006-11-08T08:29:00.000-05:00

My mom used to say this sometimes when we were kids. Four kids in four years...who can blame her? Sometimes you just want to go away. I love my boys. Seriously....seriously! But this virus we've had over the last week (first me, then Spencer, then Alex) has made things tough. I need a break. That's why I'm finally cashing in on the massage gift certificate I was given months ago. Saturday. And I'm getting my hair cut, and my eyebrows waxed. Because I need it, and I deserve it. Seriously.*

*For those of you who aren't Grey's Anatomy fans, this is me trying to give myself a pep talk, Izzie style. Ah, forget it. If you don't watch you won't understand. Seriously!

My Lion and My Monkey

2006-11-02T07:14:00.000-05:00

My Lion and My Monkey
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

It's a jungle in my house EVERY day!

The Zoo

2006-11-01T21:08:00.000-05:00

The Zoo
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Speak No Evil

2006-11-01T21:07:00.000-05:00

Speak No Evil
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Lion On The Prowl

2006-11-01T21:06:00.000-05:00

Lion in the Jungle
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

POTD 10.27.06

2006-10-27T11:48:00.000-04:00

POTD 10.27.06
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

One of the boys' favorite things to do when we first come down in the morning is to look out the living room window. I haven't put plastic up yet and the big windows get a bit frosty or dewy. I've showed them how they can "draw" in the dew with their fingers. Here's Alex enjoying his morning lookout.

2006-10-25T20:56:00.000-04:00

Spencer . . . took . . . threestepstoday!!!

Three times!

Picture of the Day 10.22.06

2006-10-22T13:09:00.000-04:00

POTD 10.22.06
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Alex got new glasses, with an even stronger prescription. He's eating a Fig Newman in this picture. The boys love them.

Picture of the Day 10.20.06

2006-10-20T08:41:00.000-04:00

POTD 10.20.06
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

2006-10-10T11:33:00.001-04:00

Dear God,

On the next model, could you please include a snooze button? Thank you.

Yours truly,
Slow to Rise

My Pumpkins

2006-10-09T21:40:00.000-04:00

All this adorableness for just two dollars?!!?

2006-10-06T09:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, they're at it again. They're telling me in their own little way that they're going to be just fine. I was starting to worry about language development. Everything I read says that by 14 months (their corrected age) they should have at least 3 words that they use regularly. Well, Alex and Spencer don't have any need to say "Mama" because I'm the only one here. They know that if they cry I'll come. They've said "Mama," but they don't use it regularly. I talked to their therapists this week about having them evaluated for language, just to make sure everything is okay. I've been paying a lot of attention to their speech, and I'm starting to notice that they repeat words. Alex says "that" and has even said some form of "Can I have that?". Spencer repeated "uh oh" several times this morning and also repeated "up" once when I said it to him. Add all this to Alex saying "ball" on Monday and I'm just reminded that I have nothing to worry about.

Alex Says His First Word

2006-10-03T07:42:00.000-04:00

Alex said his first word today (other than mama or hi). He said BALL. He was playing with a ball and my sister and I said "ball" to him and he repeated it back, clear as day! I have a witness, so I know it wasn't just my hopeful imagination hearing it. Yippee!!! God, I love being a mom.

Centerpiece

2006-10-01T18:39:00.000-04:00

How do you like my new centerpiece? Little bugger!
Centerpiece
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

2006-09-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

Spencer and Alex both had doctor's appointments on Monday. Alex saw the opthomologist for his six month check-up. He has become more near-sighted since his last exam. He can see clearly without his glasses only about two inches in front of his face. I was pretty upset that his eyes have become worse. I've been so diligent about making sure he wears his glasses. The doctor, however, reminded me that with the condition he had (ROP) many children end up losing part or all of their vision. The fact that he has full vision and can wear corrective lenses to see normally is a miracle of modern medicine. She's right, and I'm so thankful that he's not blind, thanks to two rounds of laser eye surgery. She said Alex's eyes will probably continue to get worse, but at some point it will stop; he can only be so near-sighted. He'll always wear corrective lenses, unless someday he has surgery again to correct his vision. I've told him that I'll pay for it when he's older if he wants it, but maybe he'll always want to wear glasses. He's so cute in them anyway!

I took Spencer in to the pediatrician for a weight check. The last time he was there was July 10th, and he was exactly 16 pounds. On Monday, two months later, he weighed 19 lbs. 11 oz.; that's nearly a four pound weight gain! He has also been off of Prevacid for three weeks now. I forgot to give it to him one day; by the time I remembered it was the end of the day and he was doing fine. I thought, "Why not try taking him off and see how he does?" He is eating and drinking just as much as always, and not spitting up. It seems Spencer's reflux has subsided, and now he's growing like crazy. He's actually getting a double chin!

2006-09-09T00:14:00.000-04:00

Apparently Tuesday morning Alex woke up and decided "I think I'll learn to pull myself to standing on the coffee table today. Aw, heck, why don't I just go ahead and learn to cruise!" That's my Alex, continuing to catch up by leaps and bounds. He cruised halfway around the coffee table without any assistance! Now he's all over the place, getting more confident all the time. I swear he's going to walk before Spencer (their therapists think so, too). Don't worry, Spence, it's not a competition. We just utterly amazed that Alex is catching up so quickly after everything he's been through.

Alex is Amazing

2006-08-31T19:39:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago Alex began to pull up to standing when I held his hands. A week later he pulled himself up to stand in his crib (I had to move the mattress down right at bedtime!). Today he began taking steps when I held his hands, high steps like he was really trying to walk, not little foot shuffles. Tonight he went up four stairs in a row on his own! He is learning so fast and getting stronger every day. He watches everything Spencer does and wants to do it all. The funny thing is, Spencer doesn't take steps like Alex was taking today.

When Alex and Spencer were in the NICU one of Alex's primary nurses (Debbie, who I adore and miss) said she thought Alex would go home before Spencer. I thought she was crazy, what with all the challenges Alex had had and Spencer having had very few. Spencer did come home first, but promptly returned to the NICU because of an apnea. Guess which baby came home for good first: Alex! He has always and continues to beat the odds, to disprove what the nurses, doctors, and therapists forecast for him. I pray that all the parents of preemies out there who are so scared by the statistics would reject negativity and BELIEVE that their child can and will be a miracle. Though Alex's prognosis was very bleak when he was born I always stayed positive, as did the many friends, family, and even strangers who were praying for him and Spencer. I truly believe that all the positive, healing energy that was sent to them is in large part why they are here today, whole and healthy.

2006-08-18T18:34:00.000-04:00

The boys ate fish sticks for the first time this evening (organic ones made from fillets without a bunch of junk added). They LOVED them! I had to break them into pieces, but even Alex fed himself. I so glad they like fish, and that I've found a quick and easy meal that I feel good about giving them. I need to find more of those, since classes start in a few weeks and I'm going to be very busy.

Standing Together

2006-08-18T12:26:00.000-04:00

Standing Together
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

2006-08-14T09:49:00.000-04:00

I love watching Alex and Spencer play together: climbing the Tumble Forms, crawling through their tunnel, racing each other across the floor to get a toy, babbling happily to each other in their mysterious baby language. It's all so amazing. The best part of having twins is watching them together, even when there is conflict between the two of them. It's like my own little personal childhood development study, right here in my living room.

2006-08-12T10:37:00.000-04:00

Alex is pulling to standing when I hold his hands. He tucks his feet under him and pushes up. He started this yesterday; the day before he was holding his legs straight and stiff when I pulled him up. He learns so fast! I swear it's from watching Spencer do all these things. He sees Spence and thinks "I want to do that, too!"

I stood Alex up at the coffee table. He held on with one hand and banged on the table with the other. He stood there doing this for about three minutes without any assistance. He's my amazing catcher-upper boy!!!

2006-08-11T10:30:00.000-04:00

Spencer has hit two major milestones in the last two days. Yesterday he climbed an entire flight of stairs for the first time. Today, he got his first bloody nose. The life of a toddler; it's sooooo precarious.

Spencer Rides His Steed

2006-08-09T10:17:00.000-04:00


Spencer has learned to ride his rocking horse on his own.

Alex Climbs

2006-08-06T11:26:00.000-04:00

Alex Climbs
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

It's hard to see in this pic, but Alex is actually climbing. He's developing so fast!

Alex and His Steed

2006-08-06T11:24:00.000-04:00

IMG_1041
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

"Do you mind? I'm workin' here. I think she needs an oil change."

2006-08-05T11:34:00.000-04:00

Alex is fascinated by this toy...and a little bit scared of it, too.

2006-08-03T09:58:00.001-04:00

Alex is crawling everywhere now and is pulling up to kneeling on toys and the bookshelf. He's grabbing books off the shelf and toys out of the toy bins, just like Spencer. I'm truly amazed at how quickly he's progressing. I believe having this big, safe space to roam in has really helped both boys' physical development.

Rock n roll, baby, yeah!

Alex's "kissing" of his brother has gotten a little out of control. He gets Spencer in a headlock and slobbers (and I suspect bites) all over his head. Spencer does NOT like it, rightfully so. I have to pull Alex off, tell him "no," and try to explain that Spencer doesn't want him to do that and that that's why he's crying. He doesn't get it yet, but someday he will. Ah, it's the onset of having to repeat oneself indefinitely: one of the many joys of parenthood.

Spencer is pulling up to standing a lot now. He really wants to be vertical more than anything. I think I saw the beginning of cruising today, but there was a toy in his way and after I moved it he just wanted me to pick him up. He's been that way lately; he cries until I pick him up, then he's happy until I put him back down again. If I'm sitting on the floor he doesn't do it; somehow if I'm on his level he's okay. Spencer has been such a ham lately. My niece said something so funny about him last week; I wish I had written it down. It was something like "Spencer got the baby handbook and he's learning all the tricks in it." Yes, he knows he's cute.

Spencer fighting bedtime

Yesterday I took a video clip of Spencer riding the rocking horse by himself. He's learned to bounce himself up and down without assistance. I sing the Lone Ranger theme music while they ride. After Spencer gracefully a lit from his steed (fell off backward on his head) I had him on my lap and was showing him the video clip. He started bouncing himself up and down on my knee. It was adorable!

Alexander Kisses Spencer

2006-08-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

2006-07-27T01:10:00.000-04:00

ALEX has started giving kisses. It's so sweet that he wants to give them, but his version of a kiss is a bit rambunctious. He grabs his subject's head (by the hair if possible), pulls it toward him, opens wide, and uses everything inside his mouth to kiss: teeth, tongue, and drooooooool. Ouch! And yuck! He's SOOOOO loving!

Spencer Stairs 013

2006-07-25T21:09:00.000-04:00

Spencer Stairs 013
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Spencer Stairs 011

2006-07-25T21:08:00.001-04:00

Spencer Stairs 011
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Spencer Stairs 010

2006-07-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

Spencer Stairs 010
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

Spencer Stairs 009

2006-07-25T21:07:00.000-04:00

Spencer Stairs 009
Originally uploaded by doublethefun.

2006-07-24T18:48:00.000-04:00

Spencer attempted the stairs for the first time today. I found him trying it at home this morning. When we went to my sister's house this afternoon he caught on really quickly and made it up three steps before tiring out. He can't walk or even crawl with his belly off the floor, but he's climbing the stairs.

Alex is commando crawling all over the place. He's totally keeping up with Spencer. In fact, watching him, I think he's going to do an actual crawl before Spencer. That's the thing about Alex: he always defies expectations.

2006-07-19T08:27:00.000-04:00

Alex and Spencer are now one year old corrected. Yesterday was my due date. They are still behind where they should be even for their corrected age, but they are making progress every day. Alex has started creeping. He's getting into the toy bins. I can't trust him without gates anymore. I was beginning to feel like he'd never get to this point, but here he is, and every day he goes a little further.

We had a little carrot cake with the boys' therapists yesterday to celebrate their due date. The boys made such a mess that they ended up having the rest of their therapy session in the bathtub. They loved it. I hope they're not going to expect that every week!

Last week the boys went to the pediatrician for their 15 month check-up. Alex weighs 20 pounds, and Spencer is at 16. They are both growing at a good rate and are healthy. We don't go back for another three months, and then that's it. No more well baby checkups, and no more shots for awhile.

Spencer now has 3 teeth and is working on a fourth. Alex has five and is working on a sixth. Alex gets to go to the dentist earlier than most children. His teeth have come in discolored because of all the medications he's been on, but that's not a cause for concern. The problem is that he has a receding gum line on the bottom. His gums look like they are barely holding his teeth in. The boys get their teeth brushed after breakfast and dinner (if I remember). They seem to love it (I think it tickles them).

Alex's favorite new trick is fake crying. There's just one problem with his little act: he smiles while doing it. I look at him and say "What's wrong?" and there's this little indication of a smile on his face while he's screaming. I tell him "You can't smile and cry at the same time. It doesn't work. People won't believe you," and then he just breaks out in a smile. He hasn't given up trying, though.

Spencer is crawling and climbing everywhere. He's always falling and bumping himself. He cries, but then gets up and tries again. He even loves to crawl around in the bathtub, and doesn't mind getting his face wet. He's my little froggy.

I had a yard sale and freecycled a lot of things last week. The house is getting more cleaned up and organized. It finally feels like our little family is getting settled into our home. Family...home...I am blessed.

2006-07-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

Alex gets the hiccups when he laughs really hard.

2006-07-04T19:33:00.000-04:00

Anyone who remembers Nickelodeon's '80's show "Turkey Television" might be able to appreciate the song I was singing to the boys this evening as I was preparing their dinner. Alex is sometimes bothered by loud noises, and I could tell tonight that he wasn't too sure about the sound that the Zyliss chopper was making as I pounded on it to cut up their pasta. To alleviate his nervousness I did what I often do when one of the boys is upset. I started singing:

My mommy, she went downtown
She bought some spaghetti
She brought it home
Now she's chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti
Chopping spaghetti

Thank you Dana Carvey, Nickelodeon, and Turkey TV for giving me a song I'll never forget and can even pass on to my children!

The Cheerio Wiggle

2006-06-27T08:01:00.000-04:00

Every morning I put Spencer and Alex in their highchairs for breakfast. While I boil the water for their hot cereal or cut up fresh fruit for their yogurt, I give them Cheerios to snack on. I ask them "Do you want Cheerios?" and then I bring out the box. That's when it happens: The Cheerio Wiggle. The boys wave their arms around frantically and wiggle their little hineys in their seats, big smiles on their faces. I love our morning ritual.

2006-06-21T22:26:00.001-04:00

My babies are growing up too fast. What is it about we moms? We await each milestone with eager anticipation, we encourage, even push, our babies to learn and grow, and when they finally reach each goal our joy is tempered with sadness. This week I bought Spencer's big boy car seat. My little, itty bitty, tiny guy is outgrowing his carrier. He's not my little tiny baby anymore. Even though he's still little (just over sixteen pounds) he is crawling, trying to pull up, and doesn't want to be held still and cuddled anymore. He wants to go, go, go!

Alex began sitting up on his own without propping himself on his hands yesterday. He is getting so much stronger. Every day I see improvement. This despite the fact that he has had two surgeries in the last two weeks, the first to excise the scar from his ostomy takedown, and the second to reopen the new incision because it became infected. The kid has a big, open wound on his belly right now, which I have to pack with wet gauze several times a day, and he is just as happy as ever. He's such a trooper. I clap and cheer for Alex every time he works on his developmental milestones. Just today I began teaching him how to clap, too. It's so cute when he actually gets it right. We'll be practicing!

Tonight for dinner I cooked Annie's Organic Whole Wheat Shells and Cheddar for the boys. I chopped some broccoli and threw that in with the shells. This is the first time they've had "real" mac and cheese. I didn't cut up the shells at all, and they ate them. In fact they ate several shells at a time. They are eating like toddlers (and they look like messy toddlers when they're done, believe me). I love every minute of it!

The biggest change is that Alex and Spencer are now drinking regular cow's milk. I am so glad to not have to mix formula anymore, but it's just another reminder that my babies are growing up. I know they can't stay babies forever, and I'm looking forward to watching them learn and grow. I just wish I could still feel the way I did when I cuddled my tiny, warm, soft, precious babies against my chest.

Spence and Alex went to the park the weekend before last with their cousins. Here they are their first time in the baby swings.

2006-06-08T19:38:00.000-04:00

Alex just sat up for about five minutes with absolutely no assistance. This is a major development for him. He also began rotating when on his tummy this evening (to reach his favorite Baby Einstein toy). Spencer is beginning to use his knees and get his belly off the floor when doing his "commando crawl"; he's getting so close. They had an amazing PT session today. Both their therapist and I were astounded by how they just took off. Where is this coming from? Is it the fact that they'll be 12 months corrected next month and they're saying to themselves "I've gotta start catching up!"? I don't know, but I am so blessed and so incredibly proud of them.

Click on either of the photos above to go to my Flickr site and see more.

2006-05-30T10:52:00.000-04:00

Spencer said "mama" for the first time today!

2006-05-28T19:47:00.001-04:00

Today Alex finally figured out this little game I've been trying to play with him. He loves to hit his highchair tray with the palm of his hand. When he does I often respond by hitting it with my hand. Today he finally realized that I was mimicking him, and that he could mimic me. He thought it was so funny!

Spencer figured out how to make the "b" sound for the first time today. The way he scrunches up his upper lip to make the sound is adorable. He's so pleased with himself.

Spencer Milestone

2006-05-27T17:22:00.000-04:00

Spencer is getting pretty close to crawling. He moves all over the floor on his belly (I love when he does a 180 to see something or reach a toy). Today he discovered the rack of toy bins we have in the living room. I found him on his belly trying to reach into one of the bottom bins to get the toys. Go Spencer!

2006-05-26T11:09:00.000-04:00

I've lost count of the number of times we've been to the pediatrician in the last two weeks. Let's see: last Monday for the boys' allergies; back on Thursday for a fever and cough for Spencer, which resulted in a two day hospital stay for aspiration pneumonia; back on Monday for follow-up for both, which led to a diagnosis of an ear infection for Alex; and now, we're going back today because they both have rashes on their trunks. They were supposed to go see the developmental pediatrician today, but I had to cancel that because it's possible that whatever is causing this rash is contagious. Right now both boys are on antibiotics, Spencer is on a new medication to help his reflux, Alex's breathing treatments have been beefed up because he's been wheezing...I have to have a chart to keep up with it all! Fortunately, both boys are doing much better than they were. I really thought we were on our way back to normal, but then this rash manifested itself. The most important thing is that Alex and Spencer seem happy. I can't really ask for more than that, can I?

I watched the movie Little Man this past week. It's a documentary about a micro-preemie and his family. It paints a very accurate picture of life in the NICU, and of the effects having a preemie has on a family. The film was both painful and joyful to watch. Two years ago it would have bothered me to see some of the images in the film; now I see how absolutely beautiful this child is, what a miracle he is. Watching the film brought me back to the faith I relied upon when Alex and Spencer were in the NICU, and it reminded me of just how lucky I am that they are doing so well.

A Long Overdue Update

2006-05-15T21:00:00.000-04:00

It's been so long since I've written about the boys. I don't even know where to begin. They are 13 1/2 months old now (10 months corrected in 3 days). We went to the doctor today because of allergies. Alex is 18 lbs. 13 oz. and Spencer is 15 lbs. 7 oz. He is really taking off with growth now, getting chubbier every day. He loves to eat, and eats just about anything I offer. Alex is a pickier eater, but it doesn't seem to be hurting his growth.

We've been living with family since the boys came home from the hospital. On May 1st we moved out on our own, into a little two bedroom house in a quiet village. We are still getting settled, but it's coming together. It's wonderful to have our own space, and so much of it. I even have my own washer and dryer in the basement. How lucky am I?!!

On May 2nd my father passed away of congestive heart failure. It was a shock and I still can't believe he's gone. He was Alex's and Spencer's Bhapu (that's Sanskrit for father). He was so loving with them. I have a picture of him down on the floor laying side by side with Spencer, playing. I'm so thankful that he knew them, but it makes me very, very sad that they're too young to be able to remember him when they're older. My father loved his grandchildren so much, and it showed. I hope that wherever he is, in spirit, he is watching them and smiling.

We celebrated Mother's Day by taking my mom out for a big brunch. My sister, her husband, four of their children, myself, and Alex and Spencer all went together. My mother is a wonderful mom and grandmother. She gives so much of herself, so much love, so much positive energy. We are blessed to have this bright, beautiful, spiritual, intelligent, loving woman as our matriarch. A lot of what I do as a mother to Alex and Spencer comes directly from what I learned from my mom. I get a lot of compliments on being a good mother, so thanks Mom for teaching me how to love.

Alex now has four teeth. He got his first one the six days after his first birthday. Spencer got his first tooth the weekend we moved into our house. They are both feeding themselves things like Cheerios and bread cubes. We are working on getting switched to whole milk. They eat a lot of vegetables, fruit, oatmeal, yogurt, and chicken, among many other things. I'm trying to instill good eating habits in them early on so they'll have them for life.

Alex and Spencer both babble a lot, primarily saying "da da da da da" to which I respond "ma ma." Alex just laughs at me when I do that. They have conversations with each other. They've become such good buddies. I love watching them play together, even when they're playing tug of war with a toy. Why is the toy Spencer has never as good as the one Alex has? I have finally separated them into two beds. They are rolling around so much that they were disturbing each others' sleep. I can't believe how much they've grown. They've come so far. One year ago Spencer weighed 2 lbs. 8.5 oz. and Alex was 3 lbs. 1 oz. What miracles they are!

2006-03-28T00:15:00.000-05:00

I stood over Xander's and Spencer's crib tonight watching them sleep, marveling again at the miracles the universe has blessed me with. In just a few short days my babies will be one year old. Where in the world did the past year go? Can they really be a year old already? Do the first three and a half months, the days and weeks spent attending to them in the hospital every day, really count? They came home just eight and a half months ago. It doesn't make sense. Part of me feels cheated; if they are really just like 8 1/2 month old babies, how can we be celebrating their first birthday already? I can't really wrap my brain around it, can't really fully understand the way I feel. What I do know is that despite my attempts to enjoy every moment, to make the most of my time with them, as people kept telling me to, I still feel like the time has gone by much too quickly. Did I do everything I was supposed to do? Did I love them enough, give them enough attention, take care of them to the best of my abilities? If I didn't, is it too late to make up for lost time? Oh the agony of being a parent. One is never satisfied that she is as good a parent as she wants to be.

My beautiful baby boys, my Allybear and Spenceroni, I love you so dearly, so completely, a love such as I never knew before I first laid eyes on your tiny, weak little bodies. We have been through so much together and you have come so far. You have beaten all the odds, all the statistics, and I am in awe of how healthy, strong, vibrant, and wonderful you are. I hope with all my soul that I bring you half as much happiness in this lifetime as you've brought me in the past year. You are my heart's joy, my precious miracle boys.

2006-03-13T10:06:00.001-05:00

The most special moment yet in my life as a mother happened this morning. Alex said "mama." Yes, that's right. He lay there on the changing table and when I bent down out of his view to get his clothes he said "ma ma ma ma ma." I popped back up and he laughed. We played that game for a few minutes and he kept doing it: "ma ma ma ma ma." He's figured out the sound, now he's got to put it together and realize that "mama" is me.

The boys were weighed the Friday before last and both gained 1 pound 4 ounces in a month. Alex is up to 17.4 and Spencer is at 13.4. Spencer is finally gaining at the same rate as his brother. He still seems like a little peanut, but he is really growing.

Alex started rolling over from his belly to his back that same Friday. He is doing so much better with lifting his head while on his stomach, and is even beginning to bear a little weight on his arms in that position. We've also started working on sitting up.

I've been planning the boys' first birthday party. They will be christened that morning at the same church I was christened at as a child. Then we'll celebrate at my parents' house with family and friends. I realize they won't understand the celebration, but I'm going to spoil them rotten. Lots of balloons and presents and cake from my favorite bakery. It will be a special day for me, and I'll make sure there are lots of pictures taken so that I can share the memories with them when they're older.

Here are some recent photos.

My favorite picture of Spencer and Alex so far

Spencer during floor play

Alex during floor play

Alex trying a bagel

Spencer trying his sippy cup

So Happy Together

2006-02-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

"I'm having fun playing with you, Alex."

"Oh no! She caught us!"

"I'm so happy we have each other!"

Best Buddies

2006-02-18T23:40:00.000-05:00

The boys are 7 months old corrected today, but they'll be 11 months old in just two weeks. It's hard to believe they're almost a year old! Just this past week Alex and Spencer have really started interacting with each other. They babble at each other, laugh, and reach for each other. I love watching them. This is what I've been waiting for. How lucky they are to have each other!
A week ago yesterday I took Spencer to the pediatrician for a weight check. He was up to 12 pounds 10 ounces! This week he started taking between 8 and 9 ounces per feeding, when just last week he was taking 6.5-7. The Prevacid has really helped his voice, too. He doesn't sound like he has laryngitis anymore, and he's been babbling more.

Xander's physical therapist told me Thursday that she believes his torticollis is resolved; the tightness in his neck seems to be gone. Now the task is to strengthen his weak neck muscles. We're working on it every day. He seems to get a little stronger every week.

My niece, M, helps out a lot with the boys. She and her mom (my sister) are both twins. There's a distinct possibility M could be a mother of twins someday. Something tells me she'll be a natural at it.

2006-02-14T17:51:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day

The Loves of My Life - Alex and Spencer

Almost Famous

2006-02-06T23:17:00.000-05:00

This morning I took Alex up to AMC to see the nurse practitioner in pediatric surgery. He was due for a follow-up appointment next month, but I rescheduled the appointment because of some concerns I've had about his incision. There are deep sutures under the skin that have created small bumps in the incision where they are trying to push through. At our last visit the nurse practitioner said that his body would eventually push them out and I could just trim them off. I did this with the first one that pushed through about a month ago and it got infected. None of the others seem to have made any progress. The surgeon decided today that he should remove the sutures. Alex will return to AMC and will be under anesthesia for the removal of the sutures. It will be a one-day visit to Ambulatory Surgery. Hopefully his scar will then begin to flatten out and become less noticeable.

I took Alex by the NICU for a quick visit with one of his former primary nurses. She ducked into the March of Dimes volunteer's office and returned with a humongous print of me kangarooing Alex and Spencer. The volunteer takes beautiful pictures of babies and parents during their NICU stays and uses them (with permission, of course) as part of her program. Apparently she is now going to be hanging several of her photographs, including the one of us, around the NICU. Now I really need to send an "after" picture of the boys up there so that other parents might be encouraged by my miracles.

I'll try to get some of those pictures scanned in and posted here. They really are beautiful and priceless. Thank you, Lori!

Another Milestone

2006-01-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

Spencer rolled from his stomach to his back for the first time today. He was having a bit of a rough day today. I put him and Xander on the floor for tummy time and he was MAD. So mad that he turned himself over. I kept putting him back on his belly and he kept pushing himself back over. "See what a little anger will help you do?" I said to him. He's my little mighty might, that Spencer.

Aunt G makes Spence laugh

Xander now has a Boppy Tummy Play pillow, which was recommended on the Torticollis Kids website. I wish I had gotten this sooner. He's had a lot of trouble learning to lift his head while on his stomach. I put him on the pillow for the first time and he just took off. It is just the right height to support him and he loves playing with (and teething on) the attached toys.

Xander's Tummy Time

2006-01-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

Xander and cousin M

Zany Xander

2006-01-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

Silly Spencer

2006-01-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

Growing Every Day

2006-01-23T06:48:00.000-05:00

For the past couple weeks Spencer has been working on sitting up while supported by his arms in front of him. Today he was sitting on the floor with very little help from me. I placed two balls in front of him to help motivate him to sit up. To my surprise he reached for them! Spencer has also been standing up, supporting all of his weight on his legs, if I hold his hands and help him up. He smiles and loves it! He gets so upset when I put him back down.

Alex has been working on holding his own bottle. I have to help him get it to the correct angle to bring it into his mouth, and he drops it frequently, but he's getting pretty good at it. When I'm feeding him solids he's started grabbing my hand or the spoon and pulling it toward his mouth if I hesitate in front of his face. I don't think he's going to have any trouble learning to feed himself.

Here's a cute pic of the boys in their Christmas Eve pajamas. Spencer is on the left and Alex is on the right.

2006-01-15T14:53:00.000-05:00

My Little Lion, Alex, in a 6-9 month outfit already!

9 Months Old

2006-01-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

Alex and Spencer had their 9 month visit to the pediatrician last Friday. Alex weighs 15 lbs. 2.5 oz. and Spencer is 11 lbs. 8 oz. Alex is on the growth chart for his actual, not his adjusted, age. This is big news, as it means he is catching up. Spencer saw the ENT last Wednesday and he does not have a paralyzed vocal chord. The doctor did, however, see some redness in Spencer's trachea near his esophagus, which he believed to be caused by reflux. Apparently reflux is a very common cause of hoarseness such as Spencer has. Prevacid was prescribed and Spencer will be seen again in about six weeks. I am very hopeful that the medication will help with Spencer's weight gain as well as his voice. He should be able to eat more and spit up less. Today he finished a 6.5 oz. bottle, which is an accomplishment for him. I think we're going to see him getting a lot chubbier in the next several weeks.

Alex began making the "b" sound and blowing raspberries last week. He is so talkative and happy. Spencer is beginning to sit up while propped with his arms in front of him. It's hard work for him and he gets tired quickly. It's funny to see such a little baby sitting up, but that's my Spencer: small and mighty. I continue to bask in the gloriousness of the miracles God has given me.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome to 2006. That's what I told Alex and Spencer this morning. Yesterday they turned nine months old. It's hard to believe they are 3/4 of the way to being a year old. They should only be 5 1/2 months old right now. They're doing incredibly well. Alex is up to 14 lbs. 14 oz. He recently started babbling. When I put him on the changing table to take care of him he looks up at me, smiles, and opens our conversation with an "ah-goo" or "du-du-du-du-du." Spencer now weighs 11 lbs. 4 oz. Last week he suddenly started eating better and spitting up less. I expect we're going to see some fast growth from him now.

I have many blog entries that I've written down and just haven't gotten around to posting. When the boys do something new or reach a milestone I make notes or write anecdotes. Someday I'll find the time to add them to this space. For now I'll just say that I continue to be blessed every day by my two miracle boys. Here are some pictures from the holidays. All the best to our loved ones in 2006. I know it's going to be a great year for Alex, Spencer, and me.

Happy Holidays

2005-12-28T15:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays to All from the Two Turtle Doves

E.R.

2005-11-13T21:57:00.000-05:00

I was watching a rerun of 'E.R.' today while I was feeding the boys. They were treating a woman who was 24 weeks pregnant whose labor they could not stop. The woman told them she didn't want to have a preemie because her sister had given birth to a premature baby who was in the hospital for months and didn't make it. Several of the doctors supported her view, saying that the baby had a 10% chance at a normal life, and that they shouldn't throw hundreds of thousands of dollars away to try to save one baby who would probably have a very poor quality of life when they could be using those resources to treat other children. It upset me so much to hear these opinions voiced as I sat there holding my two 24 weekers who are now very healthy and normal. I suppose there are many people out there who share the viewpoints that some of the characters on the show expressed. Perhaps they consider their philosophies pragmatic, however I would label them as pessimistic and negative. I believe in miracles, and I have two beautiful boys to prove that miracles really do happen!

October 26, 2005

2005-10-26T09:49:00.000-04:00

Last week Alex began waking up just once every night. It has made my life so much easier, only getting up once each night to nurse one baby. This morning I woke up and greeted the boys in their crib. I was sleepily saying good morning when suddenly I realized "Alex, you slept through the night!"

Growing Boys

2005-10-14T22:32:00.000-04:00

Alex was finally discharged, after two weeks in the hospital, on Monday afternoon. The last four days since we came home have been very trying. Alex is very fussy and needy, rightfully so. He has an incision across his abdomen and a deep wound from the ostomy site. The wound is closing up nicely; I've been surprised by how quickly it has become more shallow. My poor baby is also suffering from painful, raw skin on his buttocks. His tiny hiney isn't used to having stool on it, especially several times a day. Every day he gets a little better, though. This morning we took a bath together. He was the most relaxed I've seen him since his surgery. He was giving me lots of smiles and could have fallen asleep in the warm water.

I've barely slept a wink all week. I've been up with Alex at all hours of the night. Spencer, however, started sleeping through the night while we were staying at the Ronald McDonald house, and has continued to do so. What a wonderful break it was to sleep through the night for two weeks straight, and it is definitely an advantage to have to care for just one baby at night.
The boys had their appointment with the pediatrician today. Spencer is now 9 lbs. 4 oz. and Alex is 10 lbs. 14 oz. They both gained 25 ounces this month. Spencer is no longer anemic and does not need to take iron supplements anymore. Alex got permission to start on a little rice cereal once a day. He hasn't hit the four month mark in corrected age yet, but the doctor agreed that he is catching up well and would probably be okay starting the cereal. Here he is below trying it out. It was also his first time in his feeding seat. He did a lot better with the cereal when I was holding him, as you can see from the pictures.

Spencer saw the eye doctor again for his ROP two weeks ago. It has resolved and he does not need his eyes checked for another 6 months. He is "talking" a lot now, and squeals with delight at times. He's so excited and full of smiles during our little "conversations"; I really enjoy them.

Humpty Dumpty...

2005-09-30T23:00:00.000-04:00

...has been put back together again. During an approximately three hour surgery this morning, Alexander's ostomy was removed and his intestines were reconnected. The surgeon was able to go in through the original incision, which means no new scars. He had to remove Alexander's appendix and the valve between the small and large intestines. Alex will stool more frequently for awhile, but eventually his bowels will adjust. He may have B12 absorption problems, but this will be watched and he can receive shots if needed. And we'll never have to worry about appendicitis! Alex will recover for five days before he is allowed to eat. After that it will take a couple of days to make sure his digestive system is in working order, so he should be out of the hospital in about a week.

Spencer's hernia repair went well. He was in and out of the hospital in about 24 hours, as expected. He has not been his usual easy-going, happy self this week. It's obvious that he's a little uncomfortable. I think he misses his brother and home, as well.

Elmo has been a big help with the boys while we've been at the hospital. Alex was introduced to and fell in love with an Elmo doll a few weeks ago, and I've discovered that Spencer loves him as well. The boys actually smile at Elmo and try to talk to him! It must be those big black and white eyes, that wide mouth, and the cute round orange nose. I've always been anti-Elmo, because I'm a big Grover fan and I feel like Elmo's replaced him, but if Elmo makes my boys happy, I guess he must be alright.

The boys are six months old today. It's really hard to believe that six months have passed since they entered the world. Half of their lives so far were spent in the NICU, but that seems like so long ago to me. I am in awe of the incredible miracles that they are, my beautiful boys. I am so blessed and so full of love for them.

Back to the Hospital

2005-09-25T13:41:00.000-04:00

Spencer and Alex check into the hospital tomorrow for their surgeries. Spencer is having his hernia repair done tomorrow at 9:30 am. He will be there overnight. Alex's surgery is on Friday. He'll be in the hospital for 10 days. I'm really glad to finally be getting these last things done. I know they'll both come through with flying colors, but it is still causing emotional stress. That's just the nature of the beast, I suppose. It feels eerily strange to be back at the Ronald McDonald House, where Spencer and I will stay until Alex is released, and going back to visiting the hospital every day to see my son. I hope and pray that this is the last time either of them ever have to be admitted to the hospital.

September 13, 2005

2005-09-13T15:56:00.000-04:00

Spencer gained 8 ounces this week! I'm so proud of him. He is now 7 lbs. 12 oz. Alex gained another 11 ounces, to reach 9 lbs. 11 oz. I've got to get some regular formula for him. The doctor said he doesn't need the extra calories from the 22 calorie formula anymore. That's obvious...just look at the porker! She said again how impressed she is by how incredibly well they're doing, and believes it has a lot to do with the breast milk. I agree...that and all the love, prayers, and positive energy from the wonderful people in their lives.

Both boys are doing well with their OT and PT. The therapists are pleased and so am I. Everyone who takes care of them is aware of the things they need to work on. It helps that their therapy is incorporated into everyday activities by their caregivers.

School is a challenge. I love going to classes, but forcing myself to study when I could be playing with the boys or catching up on housework and paperwork is difficult. It also doesn't leave any "down time" for me to unwind. I'm still adjusting, but I believe I'll get into a routine. It's worth the short-term sacrifice for the long-term gain. With my master's I'll be able to find a job I love and make a better living to provide for my boys.

September 7, 2005

2005-09-07T17:58:00.000-04:00

Spencer was on his back on the floor hanging out while I was doing some chores. I came back to find him laying on his right side. He turned all on his own. Happy birthday to me....I have the best two gifts ever!

September 6, 2005

2005-09-06T17:57:00.000-04:00

Alex weighs 9 pounds!!!

Made Me Laugh

2005-08-30T16:02:00.000-04:00

Last night I was patting Alex's back as he drifted to sleep on my chest. Suddenly he burped so loud he made himself jump!

Alex is now 8 lbs. 8 oz. and Spencer is 7 lb. 1 oz. Alex loves brightly colored toys, rattles, and bells. Spencer enjoys staring at the faces of those who hold him, and smiles in response when spoken to. Both are lifting their heads and turning them from side to side when on their tummies, especially when tempted by the sound of a musical toy or rattle. Their therapists are impressed by their development.

I embarked on a new path in life this week: graduate school. My first class was last night. Leaving the boys for the first time was a little sad, but they were safe in Grandma's and Bhapu's care. It felt both strange and wonderful to be doing something other than being a mommy. I'm really excited about this new endeavor, and I know it will enrich the lives of my little family.

19 Weeks Old

2005-08-12T10:52:00.000-04:00

Spencer and Alexander visited the pediatrician again this week. Spencer now weighs 6 lbs. 3.5 oz. He's finally gained a little weight, but he needs to keep at it. He's eating better than before, and really enjoys breastfeeding now. The title of "Booby Monster" has been passed from his brother to him. Alexander seems to prefer the bottle over the breast now, probably because of the added calories in the bottle. He's a little piggie. Alexander is now a whopping 7 lbs. 1 oz.! I know he's still a small baby, but he seems so big to me.

Both boys are off their monitors. I'm so glad that we don't have to deal with wires anymore. The only big hurdle left is their surgeries. Alexander's surgery has been postponed once again. It is now scheduled for September 30. I'm so frustrated. It should have been done back in June, and now it's another eight weeks away. Spencer's hernia surgery is on September 26. I will take both boys to the hospital that day. Alexander has to be there for a few days prior to his surgery, to prepare his intestines. He will be there for a total of eight days. Spencer will be there overnight.

We're working on getting a bedtime routine down. I start grad school on August 29. Mom will be watching the boys in the evening while I'm at classes. A bedtime routine will make things easier for everyone. Alexander and Spencer really are good babies. After their morning bottle they'll usually hang out in their crib together, and I can get breakfast, a shower, and a few things done. They have their fussy period in the late afternoon/early evening, when they require a lot more holding and nursing. Alexander really loves being held by his Bhapu; he relaxes and snoozes on my dad's chest. I'm so grateful for my parents' help. The boys are so blessed to have so much love.

A Very Good Day

2005-08-04T23:00:00.000-04:00

Alex went to see the eye surgeon for another follow-up appointment today. There is no further growth and the Plus disease is resolved. He doesn't need to see the surgeon again and will not need to have his eyes examined again until October. I told the surgeon I could just hug him for saving Alexander's sight. I am so thankful. We also visited the pulmonologist today. Alex is doing well and no longer needs to take the diuretics (two less yucky medicines to force into him every day!). They'll do an overnight home study to make sure everything is okay and then they'll take him off the monitor. Oh...they weighed Alex: six pounds nine and a half ounces! Even with his ostomy he is gaining weight steadily. I'm so pleased with his progress.

Both boys behaved so well for me today during all our running around. They both ate well and did not fuss a lot. It did wonders for my spirits to have a "good" day with them.

What A Mother Really Needs

2005-08-03T03:52:00.000-04:00

It's almost 4 am. I just finished nursing Alex and I should be sleeping, but I have some thoughts I really felt the need to record. Yesterday and the preceding night were probably the hardest since the boys came home. I was exhausted, frustrated, and emotionally and physically drained. My sister and I took a break this evening and went out while Grandma watched the boys (the fact that a simple trip to Target and Walmart has become a major treat for me is a sign of how much my life has changed). The break was good for me. As I was holding Alex after his feeding just now I realized how tense I have been. I began to breath deeply, inhaling and exhaling slowly....inhaling peace and tranquility, exhaling tension and anxiety. As I relaxed, so did Alex. I thought to myself, "The Creator has given me everything I need to be a good mother. I just have to reach deep inside of me and draw from the source." I have been so caught up in doing everything the "right" way that I've forgotten about trusting my intuition. All of the many books I'm reading, all of the sage advice from doctors, nurses, and other parents, are invaluable. But the answers don't lie with them; they lie within me. I need to breath deeply and trust my mother's intuition. Only when I do that will I find the peace that it takes to be the wonderful mother I want to be to my beautiful boys.

Four Months Old

2005-07-30T11:24:00.000-04:00

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged! I think about it almost every day, but finding the time is so hard with both babies home now. Things are finally starting to calm down and life is beginning to have a steady rhythm to it. I'm actually finding the time to get some things done.

Alexander
We've had a flurry of doctors appointments. Both boys are doing well. Alexander weighs 6 lbs. 3 oz. and grew 1/2 inch in 2 weeks! Spencer didn't gain any weight in 2 weeks, but we started him on Zantac this week and he is eating much better. He seems a lot happier and more interested in feeding. I'm sure he's going to have a good weight gain the next time we see the pediatrician.

Alex had a second round of laser eye surgery on July 18th and was in the hospital overnight. I was disappointed that the first surgery didn't help his ROP and that we needed to return to the hospital so soon, but guess what? After his surgery he came right off the ventilator and the next day he came home without oxygen! Just another reminder that everything happens for a reason. At Alexander's follow-up appointment this week the surgeon said that the ROP is regressing. He is not as concerned about Alex now that he has reached full gestation and he doesn't need to see Alex for another two weeks. Spencer has ROP, too, but it is not as advanced as Alexander's was and it is already improving.

Spencer

The hot weather finally broke and Thursday evening after supper I took the boys for their first walk. Alex was crying before we left the house but calmed down and went to sleep while we were strolling. Alex is the big crier; I think he just wants to be held a lot to make up for all the time he couldn't be held when he was so sick. I've been wearing him in a ring sling and it really calms him down. I noticed this morning that when the boys are crying and I walk into the room and say something, they stop. They know me! I still can't believe I'm the mother to these two beautiful baby boys.

Two Turtle Doves Together At Last

2005-07-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

Well, I figured out how to get Alex to sleep. Leave the lights on! I guess he prefers that since he's so used to having them on from being in the NICU. Last night Mom and I went and got a portable crib for my room. I laid Alex in it after his midnight feeding. He was totally content to lay there and look around for about an hour/hour-and-a-half before drifting off to sleep, while I was piddling around the room. We both slept so much better last night.

I woke up this morning to a hungry, crying baby whose ostomy bag had come off. I felt totally zonked, but somehow I managed to get him undressed, bath him, apply a new bag, and feed him. This is another reminder that I'm going to be able to get through anything as a mom. Strength that I didn't know I have rises up from somewhere inside of me, and again and again I successfully negotiate the challenges of being a single mother of twin preemies.

Spencer is coming home again today! I'm so excited. The good news is that both boys are on the same feeding schedule now. Maybe I'll actually be able to get some decent sleep. I can't wait to see them laying next to each other in their crib. I can't wait to see how they react to each other. I am so blessed. Things could have been so much worse for my boys. They are very healthy for 24 weekers, they are beautiful, they are good babies. Thank God for them, for my family, and for my friends. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Alexander's Homecoming

2005-07-10T21:28:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, July 9th, after 100 days in the NICU, Alexander Christian came home. He is such a good baby, a great eater with a steady schedule. Grandma is spoiling him with lots of cuddling (she says she's making up for all the time he couldn't be held, and who can blame her?). He's on oxygen and a monitor but is doing great. I am exhausted. We roomed in Friday night at the hospital and I didn't sleep much on the uncomfortable "bed" there. It's taken me some time to discover that I can't just feed Alex and put him back in bed at night. He wants to be held until he falls asleep or swaddled very tightly so that his paci won't fall out of his mouth. Hopefully tonight we'll both sleep a little more soundly. Last night he slept laying on my chest for a couple hours. We both slept great that way, but I can't get into that habit. I have another baby who'll be home soon!

Speaking of that other baby, Spencer is doing really well. He is waking up before his feedings now and taking more than his minimum of 45 ml. His nurses are saying that he is much more interactive and alert this weekend than he was last weekend after being readmitted. Hopefully he'll be coming home soon, too. Then I can really kiss sleep goodbye for awhile!

Miniature Milk-Eating Monsters

2005-07-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

Well, Spencer's hernia surgery was cancelled. The surgeon had two emergencies this morning so he didn't have time for Spence. I have no idea when it will get done, nor do I know when Spencer will be coming home again. We're just hanging out waiting for the results of the apnea study, I guess.

Alex is coming home Saturday. The equipment supply company rep came to the hospital today to show me how to use the oxygen and monitor. I changed his ostomy bag once last night and hope to get a chance to do it again before we go home. We're rooming in at the hospital tomorrow night so that I have a chance to deal with everything with nurses close at hand. My sister is rooming in with us, thank God. I want someone else in the family to know how everything works, and I trust my sister implicitly. I just have to say how thankful I am that she is here for us, and how much I appreciate her husband loaning her to me for the night (they have all six of their kids at home right now!).

I forgot to mention yesterday that a couple of the nurses who were watching Alex breastfeed yesterday said "I've never seen a preemie breastfeed like that!". I'm proud of him, and I've given him a new nickname (one I'm sure he won't appreciate when he gets older): the Booby-Monster....LOL....as in: "The Booby-Monster awaketh." He wakes up half an hour before his feeds and screams until he's fed. The boy has a bottomless stomach. He would sacrifice sleep to eat, whereas his brother would sacrifice eating to sleep. The minimum Spencer needs to take at each feeding is 45 ml and he takes just that....not a drop more! It's as if he knows and says "Okay, I've satisfied the requirement. Now let me get back to my sleeping."